confronting the narcissist with the truth

You can do this, I will not lie and say at this age it is easy, but I am so much happier and relaxed now that he is out of my life (as far out as you can get with an N). I think both my parents were narcissistic but more so my mother and throw in a bit of Irish Roman Catholicism well you can imagine along with 6 siblingsl was the second eldest and my mothers favourite so my siblings say. All of it, except he doesnt beat my ass physically. Next she actually said, You didnt really want your own home anyway did you I swear. But when my daughter got older he started abusing her and now he is on his second restraining order and I now have my daughter He has done his damage to her and she is getting much needed counselling, but he is continuing to stalk me, send me the same text over and over.. Google and read up on everything about the different type of stalkers/stalking. Thinking back I think it might be because I explained Id been told not to hold onto guilt. I know in my depths once Mum transitions to next realm and passes through the 2nd phase of death, all will be revealed to her and her soul will fully understand even her role in this abuse / family destruction. And I have a warm relationship with her mother and brother who I enjoy very much. If he engages in narcissistic rage rage back at him. Its like squeezing water from a stone. She wields it against all who come into her world- especially those closest to her. God bless you and everybody else on this page and stay strong. We cannot blame the other person for being who they are, blame ourselves or expect others or ourselves to be anything else. What a revelation for you to realise that you are a good person and to end the confusion. Its like fighting fire with fire, and it can work wonders in this case. He now knows his cover is blown and I agree with the person earlier who said that they know they are a N and have no intention of changing. My only weak point was not being able to see when I was being mistreated by others. We are too strapped to move or we would. My husband and I feel that she should admit and apologize to all of us, including her husband whom she attacked. Should I be scares of some rage or revenge hell have because Ive cornered him & taken his power away? He will explode and if I leave for a few hours when I come back he acts like nothing happened. The individual attacks everyone around them, and may also damage objects or physically attack people. If they threaten you or yell at you, you threaten them and yell at them. I dont know what else can be done. Mirror his image back to him and the narcissist will always retreat. You must have a strong sense of self-worth, and you must be robust in your approach. If that is the outcome you expect, then you will be disappointed. It is all I can do. i left her and wrote her a letter saying she hurts people w her words. This was a criminal act she committed, but almost impossible to prove. It will just give them ammo to accuse you of victimizing them. Its like going to war without Rules of Engagement. Confronting a narcissist with the truth can be scary because they frequently fly off the handle. It just hasnt crossed the law breaking. He never goes thru with it. Never ever confront a narcissist, unless you want to end up with more abuse or much worse. Continue with Recommended Cookies. Im the creator of Innertoxicrelief.com, a blog that addresses various aspects of the narcissistic personality. Boss didnt like that, and even though my husband was good at what he did, major corporations dont want unstable people working on multi million dollar accounts. He thinks he is above the law and does not listen to what the judge orders. What about one who emulates some traits? She took out a Protection Order against me without notice and simply because she is Ina wheel chair, was able to do so. i dont understand. or so I thought. So much hurt on here. You can not penetrate the bubble they live in! My mom lives a mile from me. tells everyone Im crazy and I need medication. The devalued individual is likely to be subjected to severe and continual emotional harassment, guilt and blame, and to abuse (verbal and physical). I dont try to persuade or criticize as she cant handle either approach. It is also common for him or her to project everything you say about them on to you. He would come back! One caveat here you have to be ready and willing to follow through on this threat. He or she can be controlled by the exact weapons that he uses to overpower others. Its so hopeless, this will keep playing itself out over and over again and they will deny, avoid, spin it back on you, but you will never get them to realize their problems. She has probably ruined my faith in a loving relationship but I have developed a rich personal life. Push through the difficult times, which there will be lots of, but the reward of real love and self love will come. Its incredibly scary how textbook narcissist this guy Ive been with for far too long is. We are currently going thru a nasty divorce, 4 kids, 2 with disabilities. Thank you for confirming through your experience. Yelling at them might quiet them down for the moment, but it wont solve anything. Of course the reality of this is that raising them is a lot more work then we expect it to be, as is life in general, and often we fail at the enjoyment part, yet anger is a part of life which needs coping with. It is truly overwhelming. My one married one. I am working my way out and nearly there by getting my nursing license renewed so I can support myself. I am so sorry to read of your terrible journey. Thank you for this response! I do positive affirmations, listen to positive self talk, have gone to Counseling, hypnotherapy sessions, healers, you name it. Told me I am crazy and need meds after confronting her 2 days ago. He has put us in financial ruin. Or emotionally since someone was abandoning him? I recognise all the traits and after years of denying it myself and explaining to her over and over again how wrong her behaviour is, stealing my card details, setting up payments with paypal to herself and many other things to mention, it is never her faultshe shouts, sends nasty texts and then if no wanted effect, she cries apologises with a half hearted excuse that if you push her a bit, still all becomes my fault, to sadly do it all over again..lies about almost everything which is really confusing as we dont know what is the truth and what isnt. Hello my name is Penny I came across your article and the word empath popped out at me. I have been developing my strengths and using them to pull through. She controls all communication. I am free!!! We dont all need Jesus, we need positive and respectful dialogue and relationships. My one and only motive is to make it clear that he did not play me for a fool and that I knew what he was doing the whole time. I was married to a standard narcissist for 10 years, divorced now. Both can inflict significant damage to your self-esteem and perhaps to you physically as well. Please give me some advice how to help herself as everything I tried so far seems not have any effect ..I found several articles which tell me to either get out ( which I did with her dad, but cant with my child) or treat her the same as she treats me and threaten with abandonment..both will be hard for me..any advice will be helpful..I love her very much but dont like her atm, if that makes sense . He or she can be controlled by the exact weapons that he uses to overpower others. And broke my phone. It took 3 months of weaning myself off the charade, lots and lots of reading, and realising that even though someone may love you, it doesnt necessarily mean they respect you. This is just as the name implies an explosion of anger designed to intimidate you. It never ends. But for this you need insight, narcissists are INCAPABLE OF INSIGHT as they are capable of genuine empathy. she is not the same person that i first met at all. When confronting the narcissist, youll need to use the very weapons they use against you right back at them. Ive been going to counseling for years and working on myself, I know I wasnt always at my best, yet I wasnt always at my worst either. That is where we are different then other people . This guy was really something, all the typical behaviors and the infidelities and the image of the walking wounded nice guy. And getting help with my own personal well-being. Mother, sisters, husband, in-laws. He constantly patronizes and belittles me and when I get upset tells me Im making a mountain out of a mile hill. If NPDs dont have real emotion why do they care if someone leaves them? It has become worse since we had our daughter. 6. Now I wake up every day and just say today is a good day. Becoming . BRAVO TO YOU for letting him have it. What takes the life out of me is being around negativity The aura that surrounds me of that suffocates me. Today I have boxed up & posted the belongings left in my home to him( he lives with an ex & children) I am doubtful now she is an ex & it just struck me if she opens the box & reads the letter telling him & new girl to leave me alone & just follow through with financial arrangement that all hell will break loose. Generally speaking, they will do one of two things: enter a narcissistic rage or deny the truth. Husband was cured! Yes, its a blessing and a curse. My mother, also intensely narcissistic, was extremely abusive to me as a child. It has gotten worse and the final straw was ruining my 2nd birthday in a row with her particular brand of poison. Turns out she is the cause of my mothers dysfunction. Are you trying to help them or yourself or both? My motive is not to get him to own it and feel bad because I know he wont. I really cant take it anymore. I have wonderful friends but Ive been accused of having them because I manipulate them..the concept is beyond comprehension! The worst blow to a narcissist is to be ignored! My husband just seems to self sabotage.He has gambled money away, shied away from opportunity, has high & lows. Narcissistic rage is a reaction to a perceived (real or imagined) slight, criticism, disagreement or confrontation. My father did say to us though that she did it on purpose. Ive enough self-hatred and loathing of self to not mind her leaving me be, so she can deal with her own issues. It just shows you how they can dish it out in spades, but their very fragile egos wont permit hearing anything negative about themselves. Reading Suggestion: How To Make a Narcissist Miss You? Her behaviour is escalating, causing huge disappointment in my parents. I believe my wife to be a covert narcissist, but she will name call and be very condescending towards people close to her. punishment for trying to be everything i could for her. She is very impulsive and has a lot of anger and rage when cornered. Just state your case and when she calms down, she will come around to your point of view. As an empath by nature and a researcher by trade, I started reading and reading and reading. I also have two sisters. I have interests in her country with her family. Hopefully I can learn everything I need to know to survive because Ive been no contact now for over 3 months and I can also start to feel hoovering although I changed all my contact information and he doesnt have any way to contact me. I just recently confronted my malignant N mother about her abuse, using the terminology. But dont let the narcissism pollute your mental health or healing process. If they threaten you or yell at you, you threaten them and yell at them. The passive aggressive ones who work quietly in what I call the shadowlands one on one convincing each person of their sick lies and then reinforcing those lies in a group situation because each individual is now brainwashed are seriously dangerous people.